Oh, Little Iris
by Pete the Rock
Summary: Iris wants to prove that Ash is a little kid but a series of events turn the tables and humiliation on her.


_Disclaimer: No ownership of Pokémon_

* * *

 _ **Oh, Little Iris…**_

* * *

It was the start of another beautiful day around the Decalore Islands for Ash, Iris, Cilan, Alexa and their Pokémon friends. Snoozing as always, Iris found the sleeping Ash and Pikachu. "Wake up!" she cheered as she shook Ash. "Time for breakfast!" The mentioning of a meal stirred Pikachu but not Ash.

("Breakfast time?") he squeaked. Iris smiled to the Pokémon before retrieving a Pokéball.

"Good morning, Pikachu! You go see Cilan and get fed." Taking the advice, Pikachu leaped from the bed and out the open door. "I'm gonna use Emolga to stir this little kid." She opened Emolga's ball to release the Flying Squirrel Pokémon. Iris nodded to Emolga who Discharged, striking Ash hard. The Discharge knocked Ash out of bed but on his head. Emolga felt concerned that she may have hurt Ash.

("Are you… okay?") worried Emolga. Instead of concern for Ash, Iris smiled down at the downed trainer.

"Rise and shine, sleepyhead!" Ash glanced down considering his position, viewing Iris with a smug.

"Can't let a guy rest, right?" he groaned.

"Why should you care? You don't need beauty sleep like us women. What a little kid!" Ash growled at Iris, the "little kid" treatment on his nerves. "Besides, you're gonna miss breakfast before we reach the port town. Hurry up!" Emolga flew to her trainer as Ash stumbled to his feet.

"Every time, Iris… Why did you even come with me in the first place?" After dressing himself, he exited the room and made his way to the front of the ferry. Leaning on starboard, Ash found some peace in watching the upcoming port town entering focus. Iris and Alexa watched from afar.

"Ash doesn't need to whine over her own faults. He's such a little kid."

"If so, why even hang around him?" asked Alexa.

"He needed a guide around the Unova Region. Duh!" Alexa sighed to the mockery Iris hurled at Ash.

"Are you sure?" Iris irked her head to the Pokémon Journalist visiting from the Kalos Region. "You're giving him minimal praise for his accomplishments. Besides, how far did you go in your travels with him?" Behind the two, Alexa's Helioptile and Iris' Axew frolicked around, playing and not paying attention to their masters.

"Look, I can get far without Ash's help." This provided Alexa with a retort.

"More proof that you didn't really need to be with him to start." Iris mulled to Alexa's retorts, believing she needed an excuse. "You'll find that Ash is more than capable of handling himself." On that note, Alexa walked off and Helioptile rejoined her. Iris groaned in thought.

" _She thinks Ash isn't a little kid? Even I know better. I guess I'll have to show her what kind of person Ash really is.'_ As the ferry reached the docks, Iris resumed her glare to the boy visiting from Kanto. She's about to learn _who_ was "a little kid."

* * *

 _(1st Moment)_

Entering the port town, Ash and his friends viewed the market street. During the trip through, one vendor with food called the group over. "Welcome to Nurice Town!" he greeted. "Care to try a free sample?" On the counter and in a basket, stacks of ripe peppers chopped and separated by their colors.

"Red, green, banana and ghost peppers..." Ash identified. "I take it this town is known for growing different peppers." The vendor snickered to Ash's guess.

"Not exactly, son. We in Nurice are known for many spices, especially hot foods. Only town in the Decalore Islands with the many exotic foods for gourmet meals." Ash picked a slice of the green peppers and tossed it in his mouth. He tasted the juice and feeling the heat.

"That's a pretty sweet pepper… Though, I remember that you shouldn't eat a ghost pepper alone."

"Sounds like experience from a previous meal, long before you entered the Striaton Gym," Cilan awed. Ignoring the advice, Iris grabbed slices of ghost pepper.

"Come on!" she scoffed. "Don't be such a kid." She threw three pieces in her mouth. One bite, she started screaming at the fiery juices from the hot pepper. In her panic, she ran around to find a way to rid the burn on her tongue. "Get it off! Get it off! Get it off!" The boys and Alexa sighed at her brazen chance.

"I think that pepper may be spicier than the Spelon Berries I feed Noivern," she compared. Another vendor sprayed a hose which helped wash the sting out from her mouth. Somethings can be too hot to handle. For Iris, she bit off more than she could chew in that split second.

* * *

 _(2nd Moment)_

Around a fountain, Ash and Cilan looked on in concern for Iris as she recovered from the pepper bite. Alexa wasn't paying attention, checking her video equipment with Helioptile and Pikachu around her. "Not only did you not listen to my word but you had to up the ante by trying to eat three?" criticized Ash.

"Excuse me when I don't believe little kids!" she argued. Ash walked over to Iris, standing in front of the fountain.

"There have been questions I have since you decided to join me around Unova. Hopefully, I get an understanding before long." Iris felt the pressure starting to tense.

"And why should I answer to you, Ash?" Her tone irked Ash to think she wouldn't answer straight.

'That attitude… It's gonna be a long day.' Just then, someone new came around.

"Ash!" a girl called out. "Iris! Cilan!" All turned to Bianca as she jogged to see the group. Since the Unova League Tournament in Vertress City, Bianca hadn't been around to see them. As she got within reach, she tripped on a brick in the road. She stumbled forward to regain her balance. Ash tried to stay away, but tangled with his feet and fell on his backside. Bianca's recovery failed as she flew from her toes and knocked Iris in the fountain. Iris became drenched.

"Iris!" yelled Cilan. Iris got up, soaked to the bone and Axew not fairing any better. Bianca pushed herself up in some pain. Alexa looked on in concern.

"They should level the roads better..." Looking down, she found Ash below her. This felt odd.

"Wasn't I suppose to be in the fountain?" he remembered. Bianca blinked before seeing Iris exit the fountain and Axew shaking the water off. Seeing what she did, Bianca bowed in apology.

"I'm sorry!" she repeated in a flurry. Iris growled at the turn of events.

"Ash!" she snapped. "Why did I have to go in the water?!" Ash groaned at her accusation, blaming him for an honest trip. Alexa shook her head at Iris' blame game.

"I can start to see why Iris wants Ash around," she mulled.

* * *

 _(3rd Moment)_

Dried off, Iris rejoined the group which now included Bianca as she let Mincchino out for some fun. Of course, Bianca took a huge stock at the Pokémon Alexa brought from Kalos, tickling Helioptile until it released an electric jolt. Undeterred, she still offered love to the Generator Pokémon. "If she still tries to please Helioptile after that, I'm afraid of what might happen if I show her Gogoat and Noivern," Alexa shuttered.

"She's certainly one who operates at her own pace," Cilan recalled. More interested with these Kalos Pokémon, Bianca returned to the journalist.

"Alexa, do you have anymore Pokémon from your region?" she asked. Her curious fears coming true, she stood to release a new creature.

"Sure do," she acknowledged before summoning Gogoat. Bianca's eyes fixated on Alexa's ride with a glee that no one could rival.

"You are marvelous!" Gogoat neighed to the compliment.

"Gogoat and I get along well. He's helped me during my outings." Feeling enough of Bianca's hands, Gogoat started to trot away. This concerned the blond who back-peddled to keep it from escaping. Ultimately, she boarded Gogoat to reel it in. Trying to quell the raging Pokémon, Bianca's hand was on one horn, holding on for dear life. Finding Iris nearby, Ash had to ask for her help.

"Iris!" he called. Iris turned to Ash with a nod before jumping onto Gogoat to help Bianca. "Hang on and guide her!" Iris gripped Gogoat and turned to Bianca.

"Grab the horns!" she ordered. Bianca fought to reach for Gogoat's other horn. When she latched her hand on that horn, a sparkle enveloped around both horns and hands. Gogoat jumped before landing with a buck. Unfortunately, Iris held onto the wrong anchor. She flew from the buck. "Whoa!" Her flight took her to bales of hay, cushioning her fall. Ash and Alexa ran to see if Iris hurt herself.

"You okay, Iris?" gulped Alexa. Iris pulled herself from the pile with a groan. Ash reached out to pull her on her feet, but Iris slapped his hand away.

"I shouldn't have listened to you! Little Kid!" Thankfully unhurt, Iris got back on her feet. Still fumed, she left again as Bianca and Gogoat returned.

"Is everything okay?" she asked, missing the brief exchange. No one was sure how to react.

* * *

 _(4th Moment)_

It wasn't getting easier for Iris to find proof of Ash's childish nature. During another stop, Ash released Charizard from his Pokéball for Bianca to observe. The sight of the Flame Pokémon brought awe, admiration… and confusion. "Ash, your Charizard is incredible!" she awed. "I can't believe this is your first Pokémon! Why didn't you bring him along and instead your Pikachu?" Ash and Charizard irked their heads, not believing the error.

"Bianca, Charizard's not my first Pokémon," Ash corrected. "Though it was my ideal choice before Pikachu was the only option I had from Professor Oak." Bianca gawked at the info.

"Really?" However, this helped understand the bond with Ash and Pikachu more. "I guess it makes sense about your relation to Pikachu and why you brought him to Unova." Meanwhile, Iris mulled behind the group, up the road. She recklessly ate Ghost peppers, got dunked by Bianca and recently mishandled the rescue of the blond.

"What is wrong with me?" she mulled. "I swear, the universe has a target on my back." Unaware to her surrounding, Axew began to climb on a cart with various flowers wrapped in bouquets. A caw from Axew irked the wannabe Dragon-Type Master to look at the cart and Axew sniffing the flowers. "Axew, get out of there!" She leaned into the cart which added weight and started to roll off the plywood triangle meant to keep it in park. Feeling the cart's movement, Axew bailed from the vehicle as it yelled either for Iris to escape or those below to clear a path. Everyone heard Axew's scream and jumped away from the path. The rocky terrain jostled Iris as she screamed from the top of her lungs and knocked a wrapped bouquet in the air. Everyone watched in fear of Iris' safety. Ash caught the bouquet as the cart crashed into crates, the wood bundling and slowing down the runaway vehicle. Once stopped, the crowd came to Iris as she sprawled onto the rim, disheveled.

"Iris!" yelled Cilan. After a few seconds to settle, Iris exited the cart but turned to her primary Pokémon.

"Axew, you should know better than that." Axew felt ashamed that it put its master in danger.

"At least you're okay," Ash sighed. "Couldn't afford to tell the elder about your injuries." Bianca turned to Ash as he expressed his relief when she saw the bouquet in his arms. Her mind began to race about possible feelings.

"Those flowers..." she muttered. A thought forced her hands over her mouth in excitement. "Ash! Is that-" Ash turned to Bianca hearing his name. "A-Are those… Are they for me?" Ash blinked before he looked at his catch.

"Wait… You mean these?" He looked inside and found the different flowers from roses, carnations, tulips… "Oh, there's some Gracidea flowers here, too! Take a look!" He offered the bouquet to have Bianca look but instead, she grabbed Ash's hands and put her face in the bouquet's wrap to smell. The aroma of the flowers sent Bianca to heaven for a short while. Feeling a scoop coming on, Alexa whipped out her camera headset and recorded the scene.

"So lovely… Pikachu, can you take the bouquet off for a minute?" Pikachu willfully complied as he took the flowers from Ash. This allowed Bianca to grasp Ash's hands in a familiar position: elbows pointing down and the hands held together. "Ash… You don't know how happy I am about this. I wanted to see the Decalore Islands on my own but seeing you made me happy that I found you today. As such, I accept your silent proposal to be your girlfriend!" Ash gulped before Bianca's lips locked on Ash's. The sudden kiss felt forced but he soon felt emotion as Bianca freed one hand to cup Ash's skull, freeing the cap that fell on Axew who wanted to see the action. Ash closed his eyes and accepted the kiss. Awed and in euphoria, Alexa snickered at the outcome.

"Viola's gonna melt at this video," she squealed in glee. "Lord, you gotta love these moments!"

"This is a side of Ash and Bianca I haven't seen but I can't argue with the robust mixture," Cilan agreed. "Ash does so much, everyone has fallen for him in one way or another." The Pokémon accepted the bond of the two. Iris, viewing from the cart, steamed at the two in the moment of bliss.

"Stop this kissing right now!" she bellowed. Her shout broke the moment and forced all to turn to Iris. Cilan seemed to have overlooked her.

"Well… everyone but Iris, that is." Jumping from the cart, she came to Ash and Bianca who looked perplexed.

"What's wrong, Iris?" asked Ash. Iris shot a finger at Ash.

"It's you!" she snapped. "You're not allowed to be in love with _anyone!_ " Bianca took a step back with Ash in her grip. Alexa gawked at the outburst from Axew's trainer, growing angry to her outburst.

"IRIS!" she roared. Iris jumped at her name, not turning around to the Pokémon Journalist. "How dare you say that Ash can't be in love!" Hearing Alexa gave Iris a chance to defend herself.

"Sure, you can say that because you've grown up! Little kids like Ash need to grow up before falling in love!" Helioptile growled at the rhetoric from Iris and jumped on her face before releasing a massive amount of electricity. Seconds later, Helioptile stopped and Iris collapsed in… well, shock.

"Iris has a flavor too refined for someone to enjoy," Cilan mulled.

"Not to mention the hypocrisy of calling someone a little kid when she's the one showing the behavior," Alexa groaned. Iris would need to think about her actions… after the shock wears off.

* * *

 _(5th Moment)_

It kept getting worse for Iris. She wanted to prove that Ash was a kid when she's behaving like such. Back in town, Ash brought ice cream for everyone. Three cones left, he brought one to Iris. Despite her berating, Ash still hoped to find good within her. "Want some?" he asked. "Mint chip Beartic Cone." Hearing the offer, Iris reached for and grabbed the green/brown colored cone.

"Thanks," she said. Axew came out for Iris to share the ice cream with. Ash finished his round and returned to join his new girlfriend. That's when a squeal irked all to see a Smoochum near Iris and Axew. The Pokémon made Axew shiver, as did Iris.

"Is that a Smoochum?" asked Alexa. Smoochum seemed to want Axew from its motions. Axew wanted none of the Kiss Pokémon… and neither did his trainer.

"Ice-type!" Iris grabbed Smoochum and hurled it at Ash. He saw the throw and gave his Beartic Cone to Pikachu before catching Smoochum like an outfielder robbing a home run. Ash clutched Smoochum as he landed. The quick moment over, he comforted the little Pokémon, crying scared.

"It's okay," he whispered. The sympathy calmed Smoochum down to where it kissed Ash who smiled. "See? It's all over..." Bianca saw Smoochum's face before deciding an offer.

"Would you like some Beartic Cone ice cream?" she offered. Smoochum squealed in delight. Iris sighed at the note of no Pokémon hurt. Alexa wasn't so forgiving.

"IRIS!" she roared. Iris jumped at the shout. "First, you consider that Ash shouldn't be in love and now you throw away a baby Pokémon?! What's the matter with you?!" Iris stood at Alexa with a growl.

"Excuse me if an Ice-type Pokémon came near me and Axew!" she tried to defend herself. "And you know how I feel about Ice-type Pokémon!" Ash and Bianca nursed the wild Kiss Pokémon which it kissed Bianca as praise. Too bad the same couldn't be said for Iris.

* * *

 _(6th Moment)_

The group, now with a friendly Smoochum, chose to get something to eat after cooler heads simmered the storm between Iris and Alexa. They found a restaurant and Cilan checked the brochure. "This restaurant's famous for its seafood combinations like burgers and pasta, not to mention a dessert called a pastelitos," he read. The briefing had the rest wonder how good it would taste.

"Coming from a Food Connoisseur, you've wanted to check this place out for a long time," Alexa teased. Cilan laughed as he nervously itched his green hair. Smoochum, in Bianca's arms, had drool coming out of the big lips, wanting to try what the restaurant had.

"Looks like someone's hungry," Bianca giggled. "Right, Smoochy Kins?" Smoochum wanted to try out the food itself. Each one came through in a line: Alexa, Cilan, Iris… but when Ash and Pikachu came through, party poppers and confetti came raining on the two. Waiters, waitresses, chefs and a manager came out. Seeing who the confetti rested on, the people working at the restaurant applauded Ash.

"Congratulations!" they cheered in unison.

"You are our one millionth customer of the month!" the aged gray-haired manager announced. "This is a special treat for you, your friends and your Pokémon. The bill will be on us." Everyone laughed at the luck they had… except for Iris. She steamed in anger at Ash's good fortune.

"I can't believe it!" she screamed. Because of the noise filtering Iris out, Ash turned to Bianca and Smoochum to see if they'll join. Rather than wait for the question, Bianca wrapped her free arm around Ash's shoulder. The group found seats but Iris chose to stay standing.

"Come on, Iris," Ash offered. "It's also for you, Axew, Dragonite, Emolga and Excadrill."

"Why should I?! I'm not stepping near a little kid on a good luck streak!" Apparently, Alexa wasn't the only person annoyed by Iris' pessimism.

"Now, that's enough, Iris!" shouted Cilan. Iris jumped again, surprised that the normally calm Connoisseur would snap at her. "I don't understand why you're being so mean to Ash after all he's done today!" The last friend Iris wanted to anger was Cilan. Now she's at the end of his good rope.

"Not you too!" It seemed the Pokémon World had a grudge against her. The more they yell at her for getting at Ash, the more defensive she stood. Ash stood himself but to calm the tension.

"Okay, guys!" he snapped as he approached Iris. "Why don't we all relax? We're all up in arms! It's time for some peace." Within reach, Ash rested a hand on her shoulder. "Listen, we can have time to battle each other but right now, some food should help ease your mind." Despite how much grieve she plastered, Ash never raised his voice or his knuckle or his Pokémon. "Besides, it's on me." Iris scoffed to the last notion.

"Right, because it's free." Iris released her Pokémon, including Dragonite, Emolga and Excadrill to feed. All ordered and ate, including the restaurant's pastries.

* * *

 _(7th Moment)_

After the meal at the restaurant, the group's concern focused on Smoochum. The Kiss Pokémon came out of nowhere, a possibility that she was wild. They brought Smoochum to the Pokémon Center to see if Smoochum had a trainer. However, Nurse Joy said that she hadn't seen someone bring a Smoochum or its evolved form, Jynx, for treatment. On that note, they concluded to bring Smoochum back to the wild, the open plain on the other side of town. "I don't wanna give Smoochum up," Bianca pleaded. Smoochum also wanted to stay with Bianca.

"I realize that, but Smoochum may have been lost from exploring the terrain," he explained. "If we find it, we'll let Smoochum decide." Smoochum wasn't sure about doing this. Minutes in, they found a wandering Jynx. Smoochum saw it, now wanting to meet up with it. Iris gulped at the sight before ducking behind the Connoisseur.

"Is that your parent?" Smoochum whined to confirm. Decided, Ash and the group started to approach the Jynx. Before they met, Jynx roared, forcing the others to stop.

"Jynx, what's wrong?" asked Iris, poking her head from behind Cilan. Jynx looked up and spotted something in the tree overlooking the road. It used Ice Punch on the tree, freezing it. The group looked baffled to why it used a move on an inanimate object. As the Ice Punch turned the tree to a Wood-sicle, familiar screams yelped before hitting the ground. Team Rocket had set a trap to get Pokémon from the heroes.

"Dat hurt!" pained Meowth. Realizing Jynx's actions, Iris came out to scoff at how the trio botched this attempt.

"You three again?" Jessie, on top of the pile, pushed herself up to argue.

"It would've been smooth sailing if we didn't have Mommy Jynx throwing a hissy fit!" she scowled. Iris scoffed more, knowing how embarrassed the trio felt.

"You three can't do anything right, like a bunch of little kids." Ash sighed, the "little kid" quote used once more, if only on Team Rocket. James groaned at the comment as well.

"I should have you know I'm in my twenties!" he argued. To Iris, it proved her point.

"Exactly! You three are grown up yet you go after kids. That actually makes your mental age much younger than I am physically." She stepped forward, but knowing Team Rocket logic, Ash tried to warn her not to tread, literally, lightly.

"Careful, Iris," he advised. Iris didn't want anymore lip.

"Yeah… yeAHHH!" she yelled as one step caused the ground to collapse and her falling in the pit. After landing, Ash palmed his face that his warning fell on deaf ears.

"They have a trap… Man..." Iris lost consciousness upon landing, though Axew wasn't hurt. Those who saw it felt even worse for her.

"What's up with her?" asked Jessie. No one could be clear on Iris' streak of bad luck.

"I think she's having a bad day, today," Bianca tried to summarize. Realizing that Team Rocket couldn't make a move on any Pokémon, they had the only bright option available: Retreat. As Bianca gave Smoochum back to a relieved Jynx and both headed back to the woods, Ash and Alexa pulled Iris out of the hole after she recovered. Still, it's been the pits for her today.

* * *

The ferry picked the heroes back up and they left the island to continue on their way to Kanto. Ash and Bianca snuggled in a room after an exhausting day. Iris mulled at how her day turned out. Cilan and Alexa came to see Iris, concerned about her mentality. "So, is Ash still a little kid?" questioned Alexa. Iris didn't turn to the voices, a groan as her only reply. "From what I've seen, Ash has shown plenty of maturity during the day." Another groan rolled out of Iris.

"Ash told me about his other traveling partners like Cerulean Gym Leader Misty who joined him after Pikachu ruined her bike," Cilan compared. "May, the daughter of Petalburg Gym Leader Norman, joined him on request from Professor Birch, and Dawn joined him by her mother's request."

"That one with this Misty, I can sympathize but not too much." One more groan from Iris, showing her displeasure. "So let me ask you this: Why do you need Ash around?" Not wanting to hear another question, Iris stood from her slumped lean.

"Why should I tell you?" she finally replied. "You wouldn't understand!" Alexa didn't want denial as her answer.

"You are aware that I'm a Pokémon Journalist, right? I travel to understand what Pokémon do, as well as trainers and other people. Don't give me this 'not understand' mumbo jumbo." As if forced, Iris surrendered… mostly.

"He met Zekrom the day he arrived in Unova! I wanted to know why Zekrom chose him and not me!" The answer barely cut ice among the two asking.

"Are you sure, Iris?" questioned Cilan.

"I mean what I say! He met Zekrom and I wanted to know why!" She stormed off, finished talking. Alexa and Cilan didn't want to believe her answer, concluding her behavior as one she tried to pin on Ash.

"No matter what we ask for, she's bitter about telling her recipe of the truth."

"More or less. Iris can't accept that _she's_ the one who needs to grow up," Alexa shrugged. "Kind of a shame." There's a saying of "taking one to know one." Apparently, Iris hasn't grown up to understand the meaning.


End file.
